Shock for Newb, His Conversation Went Really Bad!!


I witnessed another conversation that went very bad for a newbie today.  I am not going to name the Mentor because of blowing her cover, but I listened carefully as the newbie pushed his luck with a lady who turned out to be not exactly what he thought she was

 [2009/02/06 7:22]  Mentor: dude ??

[2009/02/06 7:22]  Mentor: do I look like a dude

[2009/02/06 7:22]  RJ : no no u look sexy

[2009/02/06 7:23]  Mentor: so rj what do u want from sl

[2009/02/06 7:23]  RJ : do i?

[2009/02/06 7:24]  RJ : do have ur house

[2009/02/06 7:24]  Mentor: I have lots of houses

[2009/02/06 7:24 Mentor: tell me what you want

[2009/02/06 7:24]  RJ : take to ur house

[2009/02/06 7:24]  Mentor: for what reason

[2009/02/06 7:24]  RJ : i m new

[2009/02/06 7:25]  RJ : we must walk as we talk

[2009/02/06 7:25]  Mentor: we talk here or not at all

[2009/02/06 7:27]  RJ : Mentor

[2009/02/06 7:27]  Mentor: so how can I help ur rj

[2009/02/06 7:28]  RJ : so sexy tell me something

[2009/02/06 7:28]  Mentor: well dj u will address me as Mentor for starters

[2009/02/06 7:28]  RJ : ok

[2009/02/06 7:29]  Mentor: so how old are ya rj

[2009/02/06 7:29]  RJ : ladies first

[2009/02/06 7:29]  Mentor: I insist, you first

[2009/02/06 7:30]  RJ : i m 21

[2009/02/06 7:30]  Mentor: and let me guess, u think sl is a sex haven

[2009/02/06 7:30]  RJ : and u sexy

[2009/02/06 7:31]  RJ : how old r u

With that last question the Mentor began to change before our very eyes, he turned from a stunning tattooed lady into a giant muscled guy, towering over poor misguided RJ. The Mentor wanted to know what RJ thought now:


 [2009/02/06 7:31]  Mentor: am I sexy now or what

 [2009/02/06 7:31]  RJ : oh man, i afraid of u

 [2009/02/06 7:32]  Mentor: and you need to learn to treat ladies with respect

 [2009/02/06 7:32]  RJ : sorry my lord

 [2009/02/06 7:32]  Mentor: don’t be sorry just don’t treat females like u own them

 [2009/02/06 7:32]  RJ : ok miss

I wondered if the Mentor had really been a woman, but suddenly he started talking in voice and we were left without any doubt that he really was a very manly man!!  I wonder if RJ will still pursue the ladies of SL with such gusto, I would imagine this will affect the rest of his SL future, flipping good job too!!




9 Responses to Shock for Newb, His Conversation Went Really Bad!!

  1. Hibiscus Hastings says:

    That is a great story. Thank you to the mentor. Respect is key.

  2. Yes he got it so right!!!

  3. Rails Bailey says:

    Yes I did take the course of action stated in the story.

    Do I make a habit of it, yes.

    Why ? Having been a Mentor for a fair period of time, I have seen so much in SL, the good and the bad.

    What some people seem to forget is the people at keyboards element, no one knows what experiences we have all been through, hence the need to respect people, not treat them like personal property to be used an abused.

    I cant go into details, obviously, but I have had dealings with a lot of females that have been stalked in SL, and this has on occassion passed the SL barrier and been taken into real life.

    My intention on this particular ocassion was not to demain the individual, that is not my style, but more to tell and show the new resident that everything may not be as it seems.

    And from experience, a gender change from a female into a male, does make new residents think twice.

    If I can make one person see sense, then I have done my job.

    Some people may not like this, but, put yourself in the place of a female who has been raped or stalked, then ask yourself, what if someone had taken some form of interventive action.

  4. Hello Rails,

    Thank you very much for your comments, I think you are doing a fantastic job as a Mentor and I completely endorse what you are doing. It’s not easy being a woman in SL because of the disrespect that some people dish out, while there are so many nice people who join, there are also quite a lot who use the same approach as RJ in the above story and do end up being very offensive. It’s nice to know there are people like you around who understand.

    Best Wishes

  5. Connie Merchant says:

    The thing which seems to be forgotten here is that SL is an imaginary game. Nobody can force you to divulge information, it is extremely risky to tell people your personal details anyway. You wouldn’t think more than twice about doing so in a chat room-SL is chat room with a moving picture. So nobody can be physically abused in SL (unless they choose to be, which is sadly something some people do choose)and we all have the mute button. Sounds like the guy had poor English, the thing was not to confuse him but to explain gently that SL was not a porn game. Not to play silly sex change games.He will simply move on to someone else this way, not learn anything and think the “mentor” was just role playing too!

  6. Hi Connie,

    Thank you for your comments! You are right when you say that you can’t be physically abused in SL and we are all in control to log out or mute. Some avatars though, do use verbal abuse which can be quite upsetting if they pick on someone who isn’t used to talking about sex, or as open minded as they are. The trouble is that some people are becoming avatars purely because of the bad press lately, The Daily Mail for one said that SL was a vice den with sex going on all over the place and I suspect some newspapers in other countries would have picked up on this. So at the area where the new avatars come in there are some who are sexually aggressive in their attitude to lady avs. It does get a little bit boring when you experience quite a few newbies coming straight up to you, within an inch of your nose, asking you for sex or asking you to take a walk with them without even a ‘hello how are you!’ True that some cultures may differ with their attitude to women, but it’s my belief that the aggressive ones know exactly what they are doing as two people from the same country can be like chalk and cheese. Maybe we are seeing more in the London sim as it is a new greeting area and it has opened at the same time as the adverse publicity. As for Mentor Rails, perhaps he would like to answer you himself, as far as I can tell he is an experienced Mentor and he did try to help the avatar for a long time before he changed his appearance (I only recorded the last bit of the conversation). We are having lots of nice people arriving too, so hopefully the sex mad lot will find comfort in some Mature sim somewhere else.

  7. Rails says:

    I like the comment, SL is an imaginery game. Got to disagree with that and for the following reasons.

    The Program runs on touchable servers, if they were imaginery the program wouldnt run.

    At the user end, you sit at a touchable computer, if it was imaginery, I wouldnt be writing this.

    Real people sit at the real computers and talk to other real people, I am not imaginery or a figment of your imagination.

    No-one in this 3D interactive environment that we call SecondLife is imaginery, re the comment on real people at keyboards.

    Given that all people are dealing with real people at keyboards around the world, the following applies:

    1. People have real feelings, not imaginery ones.
    2. People have experienced real life trauma.
    3. No one in Secondlife knows what kind of trauma any person has been put through.
    4. Secondlife is a Visual Experience, and if some one has been raped in real life, then a visual rape in Secondlife may well trigger off recollections of a real life rape.
    5. The same applies to being stalked, having a gun shoved in your face, been griefed by being consumed in virtual fire and the list goes on.

    Not one person can say with any certainty, what will trigger recollections in real life, for real life trauma that anyone may have suffered.

    As for myself, I try very hard to teach new residents and experienced residents that there has to be a level of acceptable behaviour within Secondlife.

    You would be suprised how many real people sitting at real keyboards give out real life information because they seem to trust strangers sitting at a keyboard who could be on the other side of the world.

    Such information that gets given out is, e-mail address, cell (mobile) phone numbers, real life residential address, the country they live in, the state they live in, and I have even known where people share their SL passwords.

    There is already real documented evidence that this trusting behaviour by some, has passed the SL boundaries and transgressed in to real life.

    From a personal perspective, if anyone asks me where I am from, my answer is always Secondlife, if I am asked my age, the answer is always 99.

    But I am a seasoned SL-er and I know better, whereas new residents dont.

    BTW this is not my real e-mail address, for personal security reasons it gets bounced through several servers before it gets to my primary e-mail address which few have

    I dont role play.

  8. Connie Merchant says:

    Hi Janey,
    As it happens I joined SL way back in June 2005 and was a mentor until last Spring.I don’t know the others rez dates, but you could say I was pretty experienced. I stopped being a mentor due to the bullying aspects of many Mentors.Many started to behave like they genuinely believed they were running SL.(the original group of people were volunteers and knew it and also had happy times together) Many may come from a IT background and be qualified to run SL in theory, but the basis of it is, no person becomes an avatar to be bullied in any situation!

    I really take exception to someone saying “I am a seasoned Sler and I know better, whereas new residents dont”! Talk about tarring everyone with the same brush!I work in RL in a medical background, dealing with all sorts of people from all walks of life. Many can’t be helped, many won’t be helped.That does not stop me trying, nor does it stop me being there for them. SL is much the same, walking and talking is what a lot of people are trying to learn, but they often aren’t able to communicate even if there is a helper/mentor available to teach them. And as you say, some people like the bad press and either find it an attractive prospect or like winding people up. In my experience of Mentoring, I found the Asian countries and Italy most likely to try and “seduce” me. That is only personal experience, I am sure there are people, who are sadly lacking in a happy RL personal relationship, who show why they are lacking in a sexual or close relationship by their general lack of people skills! Pity and mute are better options than sinking to their level though if you come across an abusive person. And if dressing as a woman for a man ain’t role play in your view, then we have to agree to differ!Translate that one to RL!(not that I have any problem with transvestites, nor any problem with people choosing to role play)

    The stupendously great thing about SL is the ability to log off and get away from it is possible, I am sure you will agree that that gives people the freedom to avoid a situation they feel out of control of or which scares them. And SL has its scary moments, of that there is no doubt. The way people speak, whether it be racist, sexist or just plain nasty, the things people like to do. It is a small population compared to the RL world and sometimes it is impossible to avoid things you don’t like all of the time. But the Lindens gave us the mute button and the old fashioned basis that “a lady only hears what she wants to hear” works wonders- in other words, turn your back and help someone who wants help!

    I still SL, I built and do creative stuff on a regular basis. I still help people, I just don’t need a badge of office to let me do that! And more to the point, being a human at a keyboard not just floating pixels, I am aware of my failings-nobody is right all of the time. It saddens me how many Slers seem to think they are!

    And Rails, I can’t see your email, nor am I using my SL name.(although it is my maiden one in RL!)I hope that reassures you.And I am sure you do much to help people, what I have said is not directed at you, but is in answer to the points made.

  9. Hi Connie,

    Thanks for your very interesting comments, you sound like a very caring person and I am sure many people are pleased that you helped them along the way in SL. I do agree with you about some Mentors, I have met some and other avs as well, who think they know it all and they can be bores as well as being bullies! Of course there are good Mentors too, like a wonderful lady av I met called Kimber Enoch who is ill but spends all her time helping others in SL. Keep up the good work Connie, I admire people like you.

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